Esta imágen fue inspirada por la historia de mi papá que todavía es un misterio porque sólo Dios sabe su historia entera. Pero yo entiendo que no es necesario saberla toda porque creo que por medio de sus acciones, morales y consejos habla la experencia de muchos años. Yo he conocido un poco de la vida de mi papá sólo por partes y la verdad no se ni el orden ni el tiempo o ni el lugar en que pasaron ciertos acontecimientos de su vida....pero se que no fue fácil y cualqiuer otra persona pudiera reaccionar diferente...de empezar, por decir, en Toyahua, municipio de Nochistlán, Zacatécas y llegar a trabajar por obligación de un negocio familiar en Guadalajára, Jalisco y despues venir a los Estados Unidos a buscar trabajo...estas tres etapas sólo son un resumen de lo que ha vivido mi papá...y creo que por esto, yo valoro mucho lo que nos cuenta....porque es muy reservado, pero cuando nos cuenta de su pasado, cada vez conozco mas de su caracter, su persona...sus talentos, sus pasiones, sus debilidades y también sus fuerzas.....

I often wonder how much of him desires to maybe someday go back to Mexico, back to his homeland...but I realize he has bravely put all that aside for us.......and there's a song that's called "el Zacatecano" ......I've kind of come to the conclusion that it's not about what you've left behind, but more significantly, what you have carried with you...and this song is about staying faithful to your roots, that place and people who made you....and I think that this can bring great strength to anyone who truly understands this... y creo que mi papá ya ha llegado a este punto.

...  "una piedra en el destino, me enseño que mi destino, era rodar y rodar. Luego me dijo un arriero, que no hay que llegar primero, pero hay que saber llegar"...

I found the relationship that he sets up between 'el destino' y 'la suerte' very interesting. Destiny, in my perspective, has to do with the idea of having a pre-determined "path", essentially being acknowledged from birth, and so when he talks about 'la suerte' as if it came before destiny, it seems quite contradictory.. "yo sentía que mi vida se perdía en un abismo, profundo y negro como mí suerte"...

 What fascinates me most is not "el destino" alone, but the paradox that exists when "la suerte" is introduced as part of the larger picture. Maybe this simply speaks to the idea that life is never a straight path [despite our pre-determined destiny], but rather full of contradictions and pain, alongside love, light and prosperity, which are different for each individual. As for Jimenez, he might have understood his own life and well, the "direction" of it as this kind of circular path, or loop...."morir como he vivido, que ese don que era su canto y su gloria y su castigo, tenia que darlo hasta el final....Not only did he accept his fate, but perhaps more significantly, embraced it, y con mucho valor..."pero sigo siendo El rey"...

I really appreciated this reading because it touched upon many songs that I had heard growing up, but I never truly understood. I remember when I was younger, I would see my dad singing these songs and he would make these dramatic face expressions that I found to be very funny...to me this was actually a bit strange even. I was used to seeing celebrities appearing in music videos on t.v., where the point is basically too look either beautiful, seductive or who knows what, while singing your song......but it is not about the emotion...but maybe a lack of? Maybe if I would have been raised in Mexico, it would have been "normal" to experience this? This also brought me to another point...the story behind these expressive gestures. My parents are very reserved when it comes to their personal lives and my dad in particular, I know, had a very rough upbringing for many reasons and I feel like I've been getting to know his story in little spurts...one way in which it happens is through conversation, most of the time, when sitting at the dinner table (which is a very valuable, and even sacred space), and the other way is through music....songs...lyrics.....the way he expresses himself through a song....it's powerful...and though I don't know I can ever fully understand it, I can very well appreciate it and try to embrace it as far as my inspiration will allow me to...

la cruz...

This piece was inspired by a friend of mine, who's always been like a sister to me...we've always known everything about each other....and yet, ....I can see it in her face, her gestures, she wants to talk--like the old times--she needs to talk, she needs someone to talk to, but the occasion or the time and place don't allow for it. She's been drowning inside, but she doesn't cry for help, she's not reaching out. He's gone, her only love, distant...hearing his name only paints old memories of what once seemed clear, what was once a perfect picture. But who could've seen it coming? Life is certainly full of surprises. It's a personal journey for each individual...

She feels so vulnerable...do they pity me?...she wonders... I can see it in her face, her gestures...it's weighing her down and she's told me she needs to talk...  but she can't. I've never been heartbroken, but I believe we're all given a cross. ..a circumstance or maybe it's a person in our lives that inspires self conflict, maybe even a war within ourselves, or maybe even with ourselves. And it (my cross) is a heavy weight on my shoulders, but when I overcome certain circumstances in my life, I am reminded that I will not be given a heavier load than what I can carry...but it's a continuous struggle...

a journey, very specific to the individual...

farolito...

la canción romántica en mi vida....no se, siento como que no le he encontrado tanto el sentido que quizás merece pero yo digo que a mi edad, tengo mucho que aprender y mucho que recorrer todavía...

casa y recuerdo...

Los recuerdos de mi familia son lo que me da animo. A recordar y reflexionar cuanto esfuerzo han puesto mis papas para que yo pueda tener esta educación. Le doy gracias a Dios que me ha dado estos padres, que por medio de su paciencia, trabajo y caridad he crecido a ser quien soy ahora. Recuerdo que cuando era nina mi papa me cantaba y me hacia licuados por las manabas...cuando parece que el mundo esta en silencio. También recuerdo cuando mi mama me llevaba a la escuela y me cocía sopa de letras y caldo de pollo cuando no me sentía bien...y me peinaba antes de llevarme a misa. Me llevaban a Mexico cada vez que cumplía anos y mis tías me hacían pastel y algunas pinatas.

Mi papa es un ingeniero de corazón y su creatividad siempre me ha inspirado. Es una persona muy practica y nunca se puede quedar sentado, porque no falta que cosa se le ocurra hacer. Mi mama es muy sociable, cariñosa y sabe disfrutar de la vida....le encanta cantar y acompañar a mi papa con su voz y guitarra. Mi mama reza mucho...e incluso cuando yo empezaba hablar al ano, mis primeras palabras eran de un salmo, de la iglesia. Mis papas...los dos firmes en su fe católica...y me le han transmitido...su creatividad me inspira y su amor hacia nosotros me alimenta.
Ningunas palabras reemplacen la ternura...the warmth...de mis papas.